My News 12.14.2023

“Good Afternoon Class”

“Good Afternoon Ms. Moreau”

“Now that the Holiday Break is about upon Us”

Deleted

“This will be a 2 Hour Class, to make up for time that will be lost”

Class collectively Groans

“I would like to get going today on a new topic”

In My Head

“The Fucking Holiday Break can’t come Fast enough”

“So let Me begin”

“I am going to talk about”

“Artificial Intelligence”

“I will have to stress certain things in My lesson, since”

“I can’t think of one intelligent being in this class, except Daisy”

“Ms. Moreau”

“Yes Rod”

“What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?”

“What Rod”

“Artificial Intelligence”

“True”

“Ms. Moreau”

“Yes Dick”

“I heard that they made a new Artificially Intelligent Oreo”

“Huh?”

“It’s one smart Cookie”

In My head

“I need some Ibuprofen”

“Ms. Moreau”

“Yes Peter”

“What is the Data science motto?”

" What?"

“If at first, You don’t succeed, call it version 1.0”

My Eyes roll back in My head

“Ms. Moreau”

“Yes Mr. Wang”

“I have a joke about a data miner”

“OK”

“But you probably won’t dig it”

“Obviously I won’t”

“As usual My Turn for a few”


“A statistician’s Wife had twins”

“He was delighted”

“He rang the Minister who was also delighted”

“Bring them to church on Sunday and We’ll baptize them”

“Said the Minister”

“No”

“Replied the statistician”

“Baptize one”

“We’ll keep the other as the control”


“Ms. Moreau”

“Yes Mr. Ploughman”

“That was as bad as Dick’s Joke”

Class Snickers


“Well how about this one?”


“Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on His computer”

“They had been going at it for days”

“And God was tired of hearing all of the bickering”

“Finally, God said”

"Cool it”

“I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job"

“So, Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away”

“They moused”

“They did spreadsheets”

“They wrote reports”

“They sent faxes”

“They sent e-mail”

“They sent out e-mail with attachments”

“They downloaded”

“They did some genealogy reports”

“They made cards”

“They did every known job”

“But ten minutes before their time was up”

“Lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off”

“Satan stared at His blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld”

“Jesus just sighed”

“The electricity finally flickered back on and each of Them restarted their computers”

“Satan started searching frantically, screaming

“It's gone!”

“It's all gone!”

“I lost everything when the power went out!"

“Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of His files from the past two hours”

“Satan observed this and became irate”

"Wait!”

“He cheated, how did He do it?"

“God shrugged and said”

"Jesus saves"


Class breaks out in laughter


“So, take that Mr. Ploughman!!”

In My head

“Little Motherfucker”


“So, let us Carry On”

“Artificial Intelligence”

“Artificial intelligence, AI, is the intelligence of machines or software”

“As opposed to the intelligence of Humans or An*m*ls”

“It is a field of study in computer science which develops and studies intelligent machines”

“Such machines may be called AIs”

"Now, What are the Goals"

"The general problem of simulating, or creating, intelligence, has been broken down into sub-problems"

"These consist of particular traits or capabilities that researchers expect an intelligent system to display"

"The traits described have received the most attention and cover the scope of AI research"

"They are"

"Reasoning, problem-solving"

"Knowledge representation"

"Planning and decision making"

"Learning"

"Natural language processing"

"Perception"

"Social intelligence"

"And General intelligence"

“But First we need a little background”

“Artificial Intelligence’s History”

“The term artificial intelligence was coined in 1956”

“But, the idea of a machine that thinks, dates back to ancient Greece”

“But AI has become more popular today thanks to increased data volumes, advanced algorithms, and improvements in computing power and storage”

“Early AI research in the 1950s explored topics like problem solving and symbolic methods”

“In 1950, Alan Turing published Computing Machinery and Intelligence”

“In the paper, Turing, famous for breaking the Nazi's ENIGMA code during WWII”

“Proposes to answer the question, can machines think?”

“And introduces the Turing Test to determine if a computer can demonstrate the same intelligence”

“Or the results of the same intelligence, as a human”

“The value of the Turing test has been debated ever since”

“In the 1960s, the US Department of Defense took interest in this type of work and began training computers to mimic basic human reasoning”

“For example, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, DARPA”

“Completed street mapping projects in the 1970s”

“And DARPA produced intelligent personal assistants in 2003, long before Siri, Alexa or Cortana were household names”

“Ms. Moreau”

“Yes Spurt”

“Isn’t Military Intelligence an Oxymoron?”

“Yep, a Moron like You”


“So, this early work paved the way for the automation and formal reasoning that we see in computers today”

“Including decision support systems and smart search systems that can be designed to complement and augment human abilities”

“While Hollywood movies and science fiction novels depict AI as humanlike robots that take over the world”

“The current evolution of AI technologies isn’t that scary, or quite that smart”

“Instead, AI has evolved to provide many specific benefits in every industry”

“What types of artificial intelligence are there”

One is Weak AI, also called Narrow AI or Artificial Narrow Intelligence, ANI, is AI trained and focused to perform specific tasks”

“Weak AI drives most of the AI that surrounds us today”

“Narrow might be a more accurate descriptor for this type of AI as it is anything but weak”

“It enables some very robust applications, such as Apple's Siri, Amazon's Alexa, IBM’s Watson, and Autonomous vehicles”

“Strong AI is made up of Artificial General Intelligence, AGI”

“And Artificial Super Intelligence, ASI”

“Ms. Moreau”

“Yes Peter”

“Unlike Dick”

Class keels over in laughter

“Spot on Peter”

“Now, Artificial general intelligence, AGI, or general AI”

“Is a theoretical form of AI, where a machine would have an intelligence equaled to humans”

“It would have a self-aware consciousness that has the ability to solve problems, learn, and plan for the future”

“Artificial Super Intelligence, also known as superintelligence”

“Would surpass the intelligence and ability of the human brain”

“While strong AI is still entirely theoretical with no practical examples in use today”

“That doesn't mean AI researchers aren't also exploring its development”

In the meantime, the best examples of ASI might be from science fiction”

“Such as HAL, the superhuman, rogue computer assistant in, 2001 A Space Odyssey”

"Now this I know"

“HAL was an inside joke from Stanley Kubrick”

“H before I, A before B and L before M”

“IBM”

“Okay, Now Deep learning vs. Machine learning”

“Ms. Moreau”

“Yes John”

“You forgot something”

“What’s that?”

“Boring learning”

“John, !@#$ off !!”

“And You must not find it boring, since You are still awake and the rest of the Class is asleep”


“To Continue”

“Since deep learning and machine learning tend to be used interchangeably”

“It’s worth noting the nuances between the two”

“As I mentioned previously”

“Both Deep learning and machine learning are sub-fields of artificial intelligence”

“And Deep learning is actually a sub-field of machine learning”

“Deep learning is actually comprised of neural networks”

“Ms. Moreau”

“Yes Mr. Wang”

“I told a Girl My Dick was like a computer”

“And?”

“She asked if that was because it had loads of RAM and a big hard drive”

“And Her response was what?”

“The surprise She got was when she found out it was Microsoft and full of Viruses”

“And that was a Surprise?”

Class laughs again

“Now, Deep, in deep learning refers to a neural network comprised of more than three layers”

“Which would be inclusive of the inputs and the output”

“Can be considered a deep learning algorithm”

“Ms. Moreau”

“Yes Rod”

“Can Fucking be an example of Input Output and Deep Learning”

“You will never, ever, find out, at all”


In My Head

“Jesus Motherfucking Christ Almighty”

“So, the way in which deep learning and machine learning differ, is in how each algorithm learns”

“Deep learning automates much of the feature extraction piece of the process”

“Eliminating some of the manual human intervention required and enabling the use of larger data sets”

“You can think of deep learning as, scalable machine learning"

“Classical, or non-deep, machine learning is more dependent on human intervention to learn”

Human experts determine the hierarchy of features to understand the differences between data inputs, usually requiring more structured data to learn”

"Deep machine learning can leverage labeled datasets, also known as supervised learning”

“To inform its algorithm, but it doesn’t necessarily require a labeled dataset”

“It can ingest unstructured data in its raw form, for example, text, images, etc.”

“And it can automatically determine the hierarchy of features which distinguish different categories of data from one another”

“Unlike machine learning, it doesn't require human intervention to process data”

“Allowing Us to scale machine learning in more interesting ways”

“Now to finish up”

“Ms. Moreau”

“Yes Mr. Schlong

“Shoutout to Jesus that this is almost over”

“Mr. Schlong, go !@#$ Yourself”

“Finishing up, the rise of generative models”

“Generative AI refers to deep-learning models that can take raw data”

“Let’s say, all of Wikipedia or the collected works of Rembrandt”

“And learn to generate statistically probable outputs when prompted”

“At a high level, generative models encode a simplified representation of their training data and draw from it to create a new work that’s similar”

“But not identical to the original data”

“Generative models have been used for years in statistics to analyze numerical data”

“The rise of deep learning, however, made it possible to extend them to images, speech, and other complex data types”

“Among the first class of models to achieve this cross-over feat were variational autoencoders, or VAEs”

“Introduced in 2013, VAEs were the first deep-learning models to be widely used for generating realistic images and speech”

“VAEs opened the floodgates to deep generative modeling by making models easier to scale”

“Early examples of models, like GPT-3, BERT, or DALL-E 2, have shown what’s possible”

“So, In conclusion”

“I expect that there will be substantial progress in AI in the next few decades”

“Potentially even to the point where machines come to outperform humans in many, if not all, tasks”

“This could have enormous benefits, helping to solve currently intractable global problems, but could also pose severe risks”

“These risks could arise accidentally”

“For example, if we don’t find technical solutions to concerns about the safety of AI systems”

“Or deliberately, for example, if AI systems worsen geopolitical conflict”

“I think more work needs to be done to reduce these risks”

“Any questions”

“Yes Peter”

“Glad this is Fucking over”

“Me Too”


“Ms. Moreau”

“Yes Dick”

“What's the difference between an American and a computer?”

“What”

“A computer has troubleshooting”

“Ms. Moreau”

“Yes Willy”

“How did the Computer Hacker escape the police?”

“How did He?”

“He just ransomeware”

OK, One More from Me before the bell rings”


“Bill complained to his friend that his elbow h*rt, so His friend suggested that He go to a computer at the d**g store that can diagnose anything”

“He said”

''Just insert a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it”

“It only costs $10"

“Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so He filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the d**g store”

“Finding the computer, He inserted the sample and deposited the $10”

“After a pause, the computer popped out a slip of paper”

“It said”

"You have tennis elbow”

“Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy lifting and It will be better in two weeks"

“Later that evening, Bill began to wonder if this machine could be fooled”

He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from His dog and hair samples from his wife and daughter”

“To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction”

“He went back to the d**g store, inserted the sample and waited in anticipation”

“The computer, after a pause, printed out the following message”

"Your tap water is too hard, get a water softener"

“Your d*g has worms, get him vitamins”

“Your Daughter is using cocaine, put her in a rehabilitation clinic”

“Your Wife is pregnant with twin girls”

“They aren't yours, get a lawyer”

“And if You don't stop jerking off, Your tennis elbow will never get better”


Class erupts in Whooping laughter


BRNNG BRNNG


“Saved by the Bell”

“Ahh, Detention soon”

“Class dismissed”

“Sayonara”


“I wonder if, My arm is h*rt, because I do too much, Playing with the Gherkin for My Friends?”

"Now where is that d**g Store?"